Excerpts From The Book

FOR THE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

Understanding: This is a vital function of the mind. You need to develop a high sense of understanding in your relationship with your mother-in-law. Some of the things you think are unwarranted invasion of your peaceful and loving marriage may not really be so.

You need to show some understanding. Understand her feelings as your husband’s mother. Your mother-in-law sees it as a duty to make sure that you are treating her son right. Now, who else will do this if she (the mother) declines? You need to assure her that you love her son and that you have come to the family to be the kind of daughter-in-law that they want. Show some understanding, if you do, some of the things she does may not easily get to you.

Let your level of understanding be higher than your mother-in-law.
WOO HER

Some men believe that the stage of wooing her is over, when she becomes a friend, fiancée or a wife. The first kind of wooing was to get her to respond to your love. The second kind I an advocating is designed to sustain this response. Re-enact those funny scenarios you did when you did the first kind of wooing.


GIVE HER A FIVE STAR TREATMENT

If you can afford it, take your partner out for a special treat in a five star hotel and create a picture of her knight in shining armor.

Now this may cost some money, but this is where the word “sacrifice” becomes effective. Certain sacrifices are worth making for that special woman you love and cherish.


SAY “I LOVE YOU”

Don’t be tempted to starve her of those words except you really don’t care about her. But I know you do care. Capture the magic moments and punctuate it with those words, “I love you” say it with so much emotion. You will strike a chord in her tender heart.



EVERY WIFE CAN HELP A WEARY HUSBAND

You are the closest person he has and you are the only one who can help him and save your marriage. He will listen to you. You will pique his interest and drag him back to the centre of the relationship if only you can learn the following:

You Must Not Panic
Switch off the panic button. If you have the eyes of an eagle, you ought to have noticed the signals and symptoms because they always come. For instance, when he becomes inexplicably depressed and when he refuses to talk to you, responds in monosyllables, or even picks offence when simple remarks are misconstrued and interpreted as insults. That could be the signal.

Just in case you fail to notice and it hits you like a sledgehammer. Do all you can to pull yourself together. For you can never think clearly and be inspired when you are fearful. You need to be mysteriously calm and confident in the face of the storm and this is where the secret of your strength lies.

(2) Listen More and Talk Less
If you match him fire for fire or if you get so busy thinking of what you will say next and only waiting for his mouth to stop, your relationship might be flying to the rocks.

It is very important for you to listen closely to him at this point. Since you are not a spirit and cannot see his heart, your quickest access to the things responsible for his crisis lies in your ability to listen as he talks.

During this time, you may hear him complaining of feelings of worthlessness as the father of your kids or as a husband. In addition, as you understand the factors responsible or the triggers, you can decide on your next program of action.

(3) Run Away From Arguments
During this season, resist every temptation to argue with him. Never try to argue with him. Find out the points of convergence on any issue and always stress on the areas where you both agree.

(4) Pamper Him
Your spouse needs so much pampering during this season. Inside the heart of every man is a frightened child. His need for a woman who can pamper him at this stage of his life is overwhelming.



. The Six Deepest Needs of Your Spouse
Hunger for Trust and Acceptance Phil Festus
One of the mistakes that women do and never stop doing when they fall in love is to try to champion an improvement program where the focus or target of improvement is their friend, fiancé or spouse and they go about it with so much vigor.
Now the women may begin to say, “Oh, he is not willing to change or to let me help him improve, probably it’s because he doesn’t love me enough”.

The reverse is usually the truth. The man is probably saying, “I am not willing to change, because I am not being loved enough”.
When you are trying to improve him or to change him, do not act on that desire. Act on his desire. His desire is to feel accepted…”